www.myspace.com/taintedlovemm05

 

I only have a few to type something, Thursday that I got to spend with CW was kick ass, and I love hearing his voice...M better give us some alone time, or there'll be some noises...ahhhmmm...well... going to detroit wasn't that bad, I got sick from some waffle house so that sucked ass...then I had to drive the whole way back, and my lil cousin has a huge mean streak and it kills me...

 

I got to watch a total of 7 1/2 hours of Carlos Mencia, so that was super green right there... I got a really cool fiber optic lamp, and I fucking broke one of the lights before I got to even show M... it was homo, then I realized that I still need to get my shit in order to get out of here even though I don't want to, and I really hope they didn't change the schedule and that I still don't work tonight, so yeah... anywho, it's homo.. so I suppose that I will talk to you later...I wish I could spend the week with C that way I could know him better, and I wouldn't have to wait that long... well Im gonna be later Out

Well... Im in class, and things have taken a turn for the worst..for the second night in a row I have had the dreams again where I die, this time its different... Im all alone.. no one is with me, I was by myself...the first one at first I was out in the country with my family, an unknown country and forestry of sorts...and then they were gone and it was all blank faces...around me tons of people, with no names and no faces and I was running and then I fell and never got back up....Then the thing with M, fantastic ole' chaps, my head is pounding Im tired and feel like shit, I think I might have mono or something.. back to the whole M thing... she is always mean whenever W leaves... everytime, I thought I was the only one that was noticing it but apparently a few others have noticited as well, but now things have gotten worst... definitly she snapped at me 2 times in less than 20 min. last night, and then she seriously tried to get me out after she already snapped at me and pushed the last buttons that I had left to push.. then she got in my face, and I pushed outta my face, I know I shouldn't have pushed her, but I did...I don't regret it I am sorry that her shower bucket got broken, but I still stand that it shouldn't be in her closet where she said she was going to put it 3 weeks ago... she can hate me or whatever,  she shouldn't have pushed my buttons and if she thinks that it didn't hurt my feelings, cause it did...And now as for CW I really really really like him a lot a, LOT, things are fitting together too well for it to go wrong...I get lots and lots of butterflys whenever I think about him, so I hope that is a good sign.... even though we have only been "talking" for a couple of days everything fits too well, and I know he likes me back, and we are kinda "going" out now but i don't think he remembers....

hehe I took 10 excedrin, and  im really happy and don't have a headache anymore, I watching Scream I haven't seen it in almost 10 years, it's kick ass... I read Wil's blog, and he acts like a lil woman sometime...We went to see Stay Alive...I was scared but there was an asshole sitting behind so that was gay... Drew Barrymore has really ugly hair in this movie too... my nipple itches, and I saying really random shit...good byes...damn i would died if i was on Scream it is cool, so I will talk to you later. C ya wouldn't wanna be ya...

I cried on the way home because I realized that my best friend is dead, he's not coming back, nothing i do will change that fact... and no matter how much i cry will change the fact...I do and say things yes M and Im sorry... but i can't talk to u when ur not talking to anyone... The train come up behind my car on hanna, and all I wished is that I had the nerve to pull it in reverse and get on the tracks, cause it should have been me, and me and A are not hooking, we didn't even hold hands or anything, just as usual... the movie was good cept me almost wrecking as i was crying driving home...all i have to say is, it is taking my everything MY EVERYTHING to make it day to day, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME............